Widowed
by illegiblewriter
Summary: Irreparable damage has been done to Goku and ChiChi’s marriage. An odd-humor piece about familial ties and when life, love and the law just don’t add up properly.
1. Illegitimate

Irreparable damage has been done to Goku and ChiChi's marriage. An odd-humor piece about familial ties and when life, love and the law just don't add up properly.

**Widowed**

**Chapter One: Illegitimate**

On a sweet day like this, Mt. Pazou usually sheltered a tiny cottage at its feet from the blazing sun above, but in the case of today it sheltered the sun above from the wrath of one fiery woman as her yells reverberated through the countryside.

" What do you mean, _I'm not married?_" ChiChi screeched.

"Well, heh, you see… he died," across the coffee table, sitting anxiously in a navy armchair was ChiChi's accountant, holding two death certificates in his left hand and running the other hand shakily through his silky black hair. As a nervous habit he adjusted the glasses that were perched precariously on his nose, and cleared his throat as gently as possible.

"But--- marriage is forever! 'Til death do us part'!"

"Yes, and… you parted. At his death. Twice."

"B-but, but…" but whatever it was never made it out of her mouth as the raven-haired woman gave in to her weak knees and collapsed on the sofa.

"Oh dear," the accountant sweat dropped, not quite sure what to do next.

"Which certificates are those?"

"What?" the poor accountant was caught off guard by the elder Son in the corner; he hadn't said anything up until this point and the accountant had forgotten he was there.

"When did he die?" Gohan repeated, curious how his father only had _two_ death certificates, when he ought to have three. He supposed the death during the fight with Buu didn't count—he hadn't really been brought back to life, so he couldn't really die again. Glancing at the papers handed to him by the accountant, he was right. His father's deaths were recorded on the day Radditz arrived, and the day of the Cell Games.

"So you see, he died, and then they weren't married anymore, so when he died _again_… you see, don't you?" the accountant pleaded, surely this was the most bizarre case anyone had ever heard of, and if he hadn't known the Ox King as he did, he would have doubted more than he already did the possibility of a man dying _twice_.

Gohan nodded emotionlessly to the frantic man beside him, "I see," and after giving it some thought he added, "You should come back again tomorrow. My mom's… uhhhh… in a little bit of shock right now,"

The two men glanced across the room where ChiChi was slumped unconsciously against the couch, pale as snow with a look of disbelief plastered across her face.

"Errr… yes, yes, I shall," and with that he bid Gohan a good day, hastily packed his files, rushed out of the house and sped away in his car, kicking up dust clouds as big as the house itself.

Gohan watched from the window as the accountant vanished from sight and heaved a deep sigh when his dad and Goten came walking up the drive, waving cheerfully and looking like they'd had the time of their lives. Needless to say, Goku remained happily oblivious to the events that transpired to put his wife—or not—unconscious on the sofa.

The day had begun easily enough, before the accountant arrived ChiChi made a traditionally and over-whelming large breakfast, blissfully believing that the man sitting between her two sons was her husband. As part of his make-up-lost-time-with-Goten policy, Goku took his youngest son up in his arms, pecked her on the cheek and left to go fishing and dinosaur-hunting. The accountant was scheduled to arrive at noon, but he arrived five minutes late causing the house to fill up with ChiChi's complaints and warnings to Gohan about professionalism and promptness. Offered a simple tray of cookies and tea upon arrival, it perhaps should have been obvious that not all was well when the man first loosened his tie and wiped sweat from behind his neck before the meeting even began. ChiChi noticed his uncomfortable appearance immediately and after a few forced niceties asked tersely why he had called for this appointment at all.

"Well," the accountant rung his hands, "it's about Goten's inheritance."

Gohan, who sat in the corner by the phone secretly hoping a well-timed call from Videl would take him away from his mother's meeting and reading a book, looked up.

"I don't understand. I sent the completed forms in to Daddy for his will, just like he asked. Did I forget one?"

"Err, no, it's aahh, more complicated than that."

"How so?" ChiChi was snappy now, this man was taking away valuable time from her dusting.

"Well, it would seem, Goten can't inherit anything from his grandfather." The latter half of his sentence was muttered and followed swiftly by a swig of tea, as if it was vodka that awaited him inside the tiny rose-colored cups. But ChiChi's hearing was not as fallable as the miserable money-man dared to believe, as she caught his every word.

"Excuse me? And why is that?"

The man sighed, and pulled an aged document out of his briefcase. "Very long ago, your father's kingdom created certain-- err—laws, in order to ensure that the kingdom would be safe from usurpers, especially those within the family." When all he received was a questioning look from the princess, the accountant continued. "In order to prevent any more inner-house struggle for the throne or any sort of powers, there are very strict laws governing the inheritance granted to illegitimate heirs."

Silence fell on the living room. Gohan's jaw plummeted to the floor. Had this man actually implied that his mother had been unfaithful to his father? He remembered the time his former tutor had insulted his father. _He_ was thrown out the window and chased off the property. What was the punishment for the man before him had done?

At that very moment the phone range and a stunned Gohan answered.

"All right, I'm getting you out of this. Just tell her it's an emergency and hurry on over, I've found some great—"

"Videl, I'm gonna have to call you back."

"What? Son Gohan, I'm going out on a limb here, risking your mother getting mad at me—you practically begged—"

A dazed Gohan hung up and stared at the scene before him. Neither his mother nor the accountant seemed to have noticed the call. ChiChi appeared to still be digesting the information. Slowly, movement returned to her face.

"Excuse me?" she whispered, her three-syllable question laced with enough arson to wipe the Pied Piper out of business. Volume returned throughout the course of the following sentence. "Are you trying to say that _I cheated on my husband?!_"

"No, no, absolutely not!" The black-haired man waved his arms frantically. "Just that you aren't married to your—er--- husband. Heh heh, that's all," It had all been downhill from there, and Gohan blocked out the remaining bits, staring out the window into the darkening sky as his father and little brother waltzed up the drive.

_It's gonna be a long night_, Gohan thought to himself just as ChiChi began to stir behind him.

"Heya, Gohan! Hey, Chi, you look kinda tired. How was the day with the whatsit?" Goku cheerily greeted his family and Goten sprinted to the kitchen to see if there were any snacks around.

"The accountant, Goku, he's called an accountant," ChiChi replied groggily, and then got a look on her face like she couldn't quite remember what the accountant had said. Then it came back to her… _oh_.

Gohan took the realization on his mother's face as his cue to escort Goten as far from the living room as possible. He began pushing the cookie-munching munchkin outside toward the bathing barrel, but decided that was still too close to the danger-zone, and instead made his way miles away to the nearest lake. But even then, shouts of, "GOKU! WE'RE NOT MARRIED!" echoed in their ears and throughout the mountainside.

**Please review!!**


	2. Loophole

Irreparable damage has been done to Goku and ChiChi's marriage. An odd-humor piece about familial ties and when life, love and the law just don't add up properly.

**Widowed**

**Chapter Two: Loophole**

"You're kidding," Videl face-planted into the flawlessly polished marble floor of her father's mansion.

"Not in the least," Gohan replied before sighing and collapsing into a giant leather sofa in the living room. "And even though I know Dad's got it rough last night, I can't help but feel real sorry for the poor sod who has to come back tomorrow." Gohan smirked slightly… yeah; it'd be interesting to see how a mere mortal fared against his mother now that he no longer held the ability to make her faint.

Videl suddenly looked up and the look of surprise she had previously been harboring on her face fell off to be replaced quickly by one of testing suspicion. "What do you mean, 'you're more afraid for the poor sod'?"

Gohan, blissfully unaware of the tone reverberating in his girlfriend's voice laughed and replied, "Oh, you know, the accountant has to come back this morning, just think of it. My mom's positively vicious, I mean—" he closed his eyes again and laughed.

"Get your feet off my couch!" Videl snapped, and Gohan almost fell over in his desire to obey quickly. He glanced up to a Videl, now clearly suppressing some unfathomable quantity of rage within her petite frame, and gullibly frowned. He'd never been told he couldn't put his feet on her couch before.

"So let me get this straight," Videl inhaled deeply, "after your father mercilessly abandoned your mother for years on end, often without any warning, consolation, or explanation, and after she tirelessly raised you _and_ Goten almost entirely on her own, and after she accepted Goku and all his friends into her house—even when she didn't approve of Yamucha or Vegeta _or_ Piccolo--, and because all she asked in return was a vow of undying love, _**you**__ think that her anger is __**unjustified**__?_"

"Well, not 'unjustified', but over the top, yeah,"

"OUT!!"

"Huh?"

Videl yanked Gohan up by the collar of his shirt and marched him to the door, "Out! Out of my house! You can call me when you've thought it through a bit more," and she threw him unceremoniously onto the front step and slammed the door shut.

Lilililili

While Gohan took off to Capsule Corp., both where Goten was staying and where Bulma awaited an explanation as to why the tiniest Son was to grace her presence for the next week, another wary traveler arrived at his destination at the foot of the mountains.

The Ox king's accountant was hardly more prepared this morning than he had been the previous one. If anything, he was more anxious than he had been, especially when he recalled that Mrs. Son's, for lack of a better word, husband, was an ex- champion of the World Martial Arts Tournament and probably very large and aggressive.

How could he have known that he misplaced his fears?

When Goku opened the door and grinned, all the aggravated man noticed was the way the Saiyan's muscles bulged in his arm. When Goku laughed and invited him in, all he saw was the rising and falling of his enormous chest. When Goku led the way to the dining room, the accountant's gaze was fixed on the long, striding steps the ex-champion took. And when Goku calmly gestured to a seat by the coffee table, he was so convinced that the martial artist was attacking, that he threw himself to the floor and cowered, shaking like a baby chick left out in the cold. Goku spared him a quizzical glance before catching the eye of his wife, who was coming in the other door, shrugging, and sitting himself down on the couch.

The accountant struggled up from the floor as ChiChi entered the room, and hastened to the seat indicated to him earlier by whom he assumed was head of the house.

"So glad to finally meet you, Mr. Son," he squeaked. Goku grinned back and the man nearly wet himself when he caught sight of the sharp, shining teeth.

"Heh, well, as you both know, there is a, uh, matter of, umm… that is, a lack of precedent regarding your, err… what I mean to say is, there are many options which must be considered…"

ChiChi crossed her arms and cleared her throat, "you're not here to lecture us about our marriage; tell me about Goten's inheritance." She looked up and glared at the man, "_now_."

The accountant looked mystified. Shocked. Bewildered. Bamboozled. Yes, his original mission had been to arrange the Ox King's will, but one had hardly to hear the dilemna in which the Sons now found themselves to know that the failed existence of their marriage was what would interest his clients the most.

ChiChi repeated her question, "if we remarry, will Goten be able to inherit from my father?"

"Uh, no." The accountant stated blandly. "He was illegitimate at the time of his conception _and_ birth. He will remain so until the day he dies."

ChiChi sighed, "Is there any, uh, _loophole_…?" she looked apprehensively at the greasy-haired man across from her.

"Uhhhh,"

Goku watched in anticipation as his… widow, narrowed her eyes.

"Am I to understand that you have interrupted my very busy day for a second time without first researching the laws in question?"

The accountant looked hesitantly down into his open briefcase, littered with pamphlets like, _How to Save Your Marriage, Renewing Your Wedding Vows!, _and_ Top Ten Most Romantic Getaways for Couples under 50. _"Well…"

The raven-haired princess flushed scarlet. "Out," she whispered.

"What?" he cocked his head

"Out! OUT! Out of my house!" she grabbed him by his collar and marched him through the front door. "You can call me when you've thought it through a bit more," and she slammed the door in his face.

Lililili

As evening broke across Satan City, Videl found herself sitting forlornly on her bed near the open balcony, wrapped in a warm quilt and still thinking of the events of earlier that day. She couldn't explain what had come over her when talking to Gohan earlier that afternoon. Maybe it was because she was already in low spirits because of the way he had treated her over the phone the previous morning, when he was discovering the truth of his parents' un-marriage. But something told her it went a bit deeper. Even though she knew of ChiChi's infamous rage and frying pan, and had even been on the receiving end of some of her more vicious insults, she couldn't seem to side with Gohan on this one.

She couldn't help but think, while staring out her window into the starry sky, of her own mother, who had left her father for less than what Goku had done.

Lililili

Back at the Son house, the sun was setting for the second time since Goku and ChiChi discovered that they were no longer married, and Goku, for the second time that week, found himself locked out of his own bedroom.

"C'mon, ChiChi," Goku whined from behind the door. He had been sitting in the hallway propped against the wall for about an hour now, listening to ChiChi cry from within.

"No! I've never been so embarrassed in all my life! Living in a house for almost ten years with a man _I'm not married to!_ It's like I'm a… I'm a… _prostitute!_"

"Aw, c'mon, Chi. Prostitutes don't live with the men they're sleeping with," Goku said conjoling.

A fresh wave of sobs burst from behind the door.

Unsure of what he had done wrong, but certain it was him, Goku hastened to repair the damage. "Chi, if you'll just open the door, then I can come in and we can talk about this,"

"What is there to talk about, Goku? I'm a whore!"

And Goku sighed, knowing he was in for another long night.

Lililili

Bulma entered her underground laboratory and sighed as she walked down the flimsy metal staircase. Upstairs, she knew Gohan and Vegeta didn't understand, though from what she could tell, Videl did. She silently marveled at the cliché-- women furious at their men for failing to understand the sanctity of marriage—and wondered if and when the two sexes had ever agreed on that front.

Finally settling down into a chair, Bulma gazed down at a few spare parts littering her desk but couldn't ponder their purpose. Her thoughts continued to drift back to the raven-haired woman, whom she had never really understood until this moment. Despite all of ChiChi's faults, she knew this was not something the woman deserved. Marriage was sacred to ChiChi—more so than to even most priests—it was the one thing that tied her to the love of her life despite light-years of space travel and hundreds of threats on his life.

Bulma knew what that felt like, but at least she had knowingly signed up for it. Vegeta had never conceded to a formal marriage, not that she had ever thought he would, and though she knew he would come back whenever he left her, and that he loved her, she was never able to convey their connection in a way that others could comprehend.

But to Chichi, Goku was always "her husband".

Bulma could hear the pride in ChiChi's voice whenever she said those words. Over the phone you could practically see her beaming. "My husband is still on Namek"; "my husband is an alien?" ; "my husband will come home", "my husband gave me one last child to remember him by". My husband, my husband.

And all this time. He wasn't. She really had been alone all those years.

**Please review!!**


	3. Women

**Widowed**

**Chapter Three: Women**

There was one rule in the Kamesenin House: make the women happy.

Perhaps it wasn't the most practical of guiding principles, but the house had been a bachelor for over ninety some years along with the hermit, turtle, and monk within it. And that made 18 and Marron goddesses. Goddesses with demands they were all happy to meet. Fact was, life had improved significantly since the arrival of 18. Turtle believed in a bond between himself and the android, as the only non-human inhabitants of the island (Turtle liked to pretend Oolong didn't exist whenever he visited). Master Roshi gained what he termed "eye-candy", though he paid dearly for it. And Krillin received a daughter of his own, whom all doted on. And in return 18 got whatever she wanted, without the bothersome fear and explosions she would have endured with her brother in their conquest for global destruction.

So it all was the day Son Goku flew with the wind whipping his hair to see his best friend. He landed softly on the sand a few yards from where Krillin sat on the porch getting his nails painted pink—"with sparkles!" Marron exclaimed. 18 eyed both of them from her deck chair not even bothering to hide her smirk as she sipped her peach iced tea—made just that morning by the Turtle Master himself.

In the old days Krillin would have run out to greet his buddy and slapped him cheerfully on the back, but today he just laughed and said, "Hey, Goku! Long time, no see. What happened? Did ChiChi finally kick you out of the house?" he joked.

Goku nervously scratched the back of his head, "Well, not yet."

"Wait, what d'you mean, 'not yet'?" Picking up on sarcasm was not Goku's forte, so he knew his friends answer must have been serious.

"Weeeell," Goku sat down on the steps outside and launched into his explanation of all that had happened the last few days.

"Woah, man, what are you going to do?" Krillin asked, as Marron puckered her lips and began blowing warm air on his right hand.

"Well, that's what I came here for. I'm going to ask her to marry me again—I think she'd like that—but last time her dad had the ring, and I don't know where to get one."

"Wait—you're going to propose?"

Goku nodded. "It seems like the thing ChiChi would like—she was so happy when I did it the first time—"

"Goku, man! Don't do it! Can't you see what she's done to you?" Krillin exclaimed as Goku shook his head and looked at him with baleful eyes. In the background 18 raised her eyebrows, but said nothing.

"She's castrated you! Always beating you down with what _she _wants, never allowing you any ounce of freedom—"

"ChiChi gives me plenty of freedom, she lets me wear all my favorite Hawaiian shirts and I even get to choose what fish we have for dinner."

"No, bro! That's not freedom! When was the last time she let you train—really train?"

"Weeell,"

"_Exactly!_" Krillin pointed his finger right under the Saiyan's nose to make his point. "Hey!" Marron shouted, and put her hands on her hips. "Oops, sorry honey," and Krillin slipped his hand back to the ground and looked once more at his best and oldest friend who, in his opinion, had always let his wife walk all over him.

"But, the only reason I can't really train is because she wants me to come home every night. I think… I mean… she told me once that when I stay out at night it feels like the time when I was on Namek…"

"Bullshit."

Marron gasped, "Daddy!" she hissed, wide-eyed. Krillin winced and pulled out his wallet from his jeans.

"What I mean is," Krillin muttered while handing Marron a bill and watching as she bounced up and trotted into the kitchen, "that she's a big girl—you've been gone plenty of times before and she's just manipulating you."

Goku looked doubtful, "I don't think—"

"Look, if you don't believe me, just ask Vegeta. Bulma's almost as bad as ChiChi."

"But if I don't marry her, then what? I want to be with her,"

"And you can, bro, but this time, make it on _your_ terms. You saved the world for her!"

"Actually, I think I would have saved the world even if I wasn't married to ChiChi," Goku said thoughtfully.

"Just talk to Vegeta. And Tien. And it wouldn't hurt to ask Yamacha, too." Krillin said, as once more Marron sat down next to him.

Goku sighed. "I guess you know more about women than I do. Thanks, buddy. I'd love to stay, but I gotta get this sorted out." The Saiyan warrior stood up and began walking out from under the porch.

"Because you're whipped," Krillin muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"I said, 'see ya later'!"

"Okay!" And cheerfully—though not quite as cheerfully as usual—took off to the sky.

Krillin watched the orange dot slowly blend into the blue sky until he felt a tug on his shirt sleeve.

"Daddy, your toes!" And without a word, Krillin pulled off his boots and socks, surrendering them to a fresh bottle of purple nailpolish.

Because there was one rule in the Kamesenin House: make the women happy.


	4. Desert

**Widowed**

**Chapter Four: Desert**

It was a long way from the Kame House to Capsule Corp and when Goku began his journey across the ocean it was early morning with the sun rising just enough to warrant the beginning of a very hot, very sunny day. In the process of travelling halfway across the world however, Goku seemed to flow backwards in time until he was sailing over waves of desert sand at a time that must have been only just past midnight. Still mulling over the thoughts that had been born of his visit with Krillin, Goku rolled over onto his back as he soared over the mountains of golden sand, not noticing the several flares erupting just below or the hoarse calls of someone far beneath him until—it seemed out of nowhere—a mild ki blast shot up and singed his back.

"Yow!" Goku's eyes widened and he clutched his backside, the cloth still burning. As he rolled over and looked below, he saw a tiny dot hundreds of feet below shaking in laughter. This bewildered him until he had the sense to check the ki signature and smiled, lowering himself to the ground next to the friendly desert bandit. Once he landed he took a final swipe at his back and frowned at his old comrade, saying, "whadja do that for?"

Yamucha just finished his chuckle and rolled his eyes, "well, nothing else was getting your attention, ya big goof,"

The Saiyan shyly stretched his arm behind his head, "yeah," he laughed, "I guess I was pretty deep in thought."

This seemed to sober the former bandit up a bit. "This wouldn't have anything to do with ChiChi, would it?"

"Hey yeah, it does. How'd you know that?" Goku asked, awed.

Yamucha just shook his head, "just because _you_ only talk to us once every five years, doesn't mean the rest of the gang does. Word travels fast, amigo."

"Wow, I guess so," the younger man replied, nervously avoiding the jab at his method of 'keeping in touch'. His mind raced, trying to think up any information he had that would prove he wasn't all _that_ bad at keeping contact with his old friends.

"Wait… aren't you living in the city now? Baseball, right?"

Yamucha barked out a laugh that startled the man across from him, "Goku, I retired a few years after Cell. It was starting to look suspicious to the league, anyway, the way age never seemed to slow me down."

Goku looked and felt like such a failure at that point that the scar-faced bandit decided to throw him a bone: "But yeah, I've got a place in the city I go to. I just like to come out here some weekends… it feels a little too claustrophobic living in such tight spaces all the time."

Goku brightened up, "yeah, I know what you mean. That's why me and ChiChi—" he unexepectedly choked on his words, "well, we like it out there."

His old friend nodded, then said, "well, y'know if there's ever anything I can do to help you out, buddy--"

"How come you never got married?"

"Whoa—what?"

"How come you never got married?" Goku repeated. "I just got back from talking with Krillin, and he said that no one thinks I should marry ChiChi again. I was going to go ask Vegeta…"

"Of course Vegeta isn't going to want you to get married again—he won't even marry Bulma!" Yamucha exclaimed.

Goku sighed, "I suppose so. But it's still worth asking him. What do you think?"

Yamucha thought for a moment. "Well, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in your shoes. I mean, ChiChi was hot!" This statement puzzled the Saiyan for a moment, but as the bandit turned baseball player turned bachelor extrodonaire continued, he realized this old friend was talking about the _first _time he had proposed, and not about the present situation at all!

"But she roped you into it man! You were just too good of a guy, and she guilted you into marrying her! I don't even think she loved you, she just loved the idea of being married. And you just couldn't say no, I mean, you're a man of your word, but—" Yamcha sighed again, "man, you got suckered into that. And I know you think she'll be really mad, but you're a bachelor at heart, Goku! Why else would you stay away after Namek? Or not come back after Cell? She scared you, man. You're not meant to be cooped up like that."

Goku was puzzled into silence. Why did it seem like he didn't understand either of his oldest friends in the world, right now?

"Well, thanks Yamcha. But I better head over to Bulma's right now, I want to catch them before anyone goes to bed."

For some odd reason Yamcha laughed again. What am I saying that's always so funny? Goku wondered. "They don't go to bed nearly as early as you do, but go on ahead. And good luck! And, Goku…"

Goku turned around in the process of taking off.

"…don't forget to keep in touch."

Goku smiled, and even though they both knew he wouldn't, he replied, "sure will, Yamcha."


	5. Accusation

**Widowed**

**Chapter Five: Accusation**

After his rendezvous with Yamcha, Goku headed straight over to Capsule Corp and, after a landing that startled a few pedestrians, walked across the wet lawn and rang the front doorbell. It was evening the "day before" in West City, so the sun was just setting behind him when the door opened.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why aren't you using that stupid Instant Transmission technique of yours, instead of flying around everywhere and ringing doorbells like some adolescent child?" Vegeta asked when he answered.

"Oh, that?" Goku scratched the back of his head, "I guess I just forgot!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes and muttered something that would have sounded like "murdighbrough yeedee-ot" if his companion hadn't added, "but I guess I like the time to think in-between trips, too, ya know?"

Vegeta didn't reply but instead led his subject into the building and up several flights of stairs. On the third floor, he entered a code into the wall and watched with disinterest as the door slid open to reveal a spotless tiled room the size of a large house.

"Wow, did Bulma do all this for you?" the younger Saiyan asked in awe.

"Of course she did. Now what are you here for? You're not in your training gear, and you haven't asked for the brat back,"

"Ah, well, I had something to ask…" Goku explained everything Krillin had told him. Vegeta snorted.

"That bald-headed good-for-nothing is one to talk. Listen Kakarot, and try to get it through your pea-sized brain the first time because I don't want to have to repeat myself: that woman owns you. You're a complete pushover whenever she's around and it's a good thing, too. You need someone to keep you in your place. Or you'd run amok without any of those things you claim to value so much.

"You used to talk to me about family and," Vegeta nearly choked, "_love,_ but do you think you'd have a family if she hadn't _made_ you settle down? Could you have lived on the—love—of friendship alone, without knowing paternal feelings, or her companionship, or lust?"

Most of what the prince said did in fact go in one ear and out the other, but Goku thought he understood the gist of the speech.

"So you think I should marry her?" He asked excitedly, relieved to finally find someone who shared his opinion.

"Absolutely not."

"Huh?" Goku's face fell.

Vegeta sighed, "Kakarot, stay with the woman. Eat her food. Drive her around in that stupid vehicle you own. For godsakes, let her boss you around. But marriage is the single dumbest idea you earthlings have managed to contrive during your millennia-long infestation of this planet. It is a ridiculous sham."

"But, if I stay with her," Goku pondered, "and we have kids, and she cooks me dinner… then why _shouldn't _we get married—it can't hurt, and it'll mean a lot to ChiChi…"

"Of course it'll hurt! Just look at all the trouble it's caused already! Nothing has changed whatsoever from last week, except some ludicrous piece of paper says you're not married anymore. And yet what are the consequences? You've been kicked out of your bedroom, you're no longer being fed because your woman is pissed at you, and your sons have abandoned the house in fear for their lives!"

"But…" Goku reasoned, "getting married again will fix all of that,"

"Getting married is what _caused _all of it, moron!"

"I thought getting married and then dying caused—"

"Get out! Unless you're willing to train, I've seen enough of your pathetic mug for today!"

"Okay! Thanks Vegeta!" Goku hollered while narrowly dodging a punch from the enraged prince and scooting out into the hallway. The door slid shut behind him and Goku wiped his brow. "Phew, that was close. And confusing! Who knew Vegeta was opposed to marriage on _moral_ grounds?" After resting for a few minutes, contemplating the prince's words of wisdom, Goku straightened up and decided that while he was here, he might was well pay Bulma a visit (maybe _she_ would tell him to marry ChiChi). So he headed down to Bulma's lab, not really sure where he was going but following her ki signature and turning around whenever he met a dead end.

When he found her, she was hunched over a table cluttered with blueprints, a pencil stuck behind her ear, another in her right hand, she chewed a third nervously in her mouth, and was writing with a fourth in her left hand.

Goku teetered nervously just inside the doorway, glancing around the cavernous lab and furrowing his brows whenever he caught sight of a particularly vicious looking machine. After a few minutes when Bulma failed to take notice of him he hastened weak cough through the side of his mouth. Bulma glanced up and let three of her four pencils drop to the table as she exclaimed, "Goku! What are doing here?" and raced over to hug her best friend.

Goku laughed heartily as she snuggled into his chest. "Can't a guy come visit his best friend anymore?" Bulma pulled out of their embrace and glared at him… he faltered. "Well… there was _something_ I was hoping to ask you…"

Bulma smiled a small smile that was no less friendly, but a bit more knowing than it would have been a few years ago and picked up one of her dropped pencils and bent back over the blueprints.

"Well? What's going on?" She asked, good-naturedly.

"I suppose you know all about me and ChiChi?" he asked. She nodded.

"Okay, it seems like I've told this story a lot lately but…" he launched into a tale detailing the advice each of his three male companions had given him, and then waited for a response. Bulma just continued staring at the page, making a few marks every now and then but mostly just looking absentmindedly at the drawing.

"Uh… Bulma—"

"I'm thinking."

"Oh," Goku looked away quickly so as not to pressure her too much. Five more minutes passed by before she sighed. Goku glanced curiously over at her table to see the blue-haired scientist turn around and cross her arms, looking down at her feet as she leaned against the work-station.

"Look Goku," she said and turned her head to face him, "I'm really torn on this. As a woman, I know where ChiChi's coming from. It means a lot to her, it's how she feels connected to you when you're far away."

Goku nodded, ChiChi had told him all of this before.

"And from the point of view of a _mother_, I can't stand the thought of Gohan and Goten thinking their parents aren't together. Gohan I'm sure can handle it, but Goten's just so young… On the other hand, _you're_ my best friend, not her, and above anything else I want to see you happy."

Goku nodded again, still not quite sure where this was going.

"And the romantic in me thinks it's just not fair to either of you. I'm not entirely sure she loves _you_ and not the idea of being married," (Goku felt he had heard that before), "and you don't love her—"

"Of course I do!" Goku protested, shocked Bulma would even accuse him of such a thing.

"Do you really?" she asked sternly, sending him a steely blue gaze that made his blood run cold. "Any more than you already love everyone else on this planet? Uniquely?" she shook her head. "Only you would know, of course, but it's something you'll have to think about." And with that she picked up a pencil and returned to her work.

Boy, Bulma's answer sure was a lot more complicated than any of the others'! Goku thought.

"I want you to really think about it, Goku, because—I don't think you should do it," she whispered the last part and Goku got the distinct feeling that she was embarrassed by her answer.

The Saiyan-- still stunned by Bulma's accusation that he didn't love his wife—gave a sad smile as he said good-bye and left the lab.


	6. Eyes

**Widowed**

**Chapter Six: Eyes**

Wandering the halls again, more slowly this time as if weighed down by heavier thoughts, Goku tried to make his escape out of Capsule Corp, but without anyone's ki to guide him he was more lost than ever before. So he just ambled through the halls, mulling over the two accusations that had been submitted against his marriage in just that one day: that ChiChi didn't love him, and that he didn't love her either! His very being was repulsed by the idea—something about it seemed fundamentally wrong. Why did everyone else think exactly the opposite of the way he felt?

He had almost stopped walking completely while at the end of the hallway when he heard whispered arguing and grunting behind him. Turning around he saw his own son and Trunks wrestling each other, one trying to pull forward towards himself and the other seemingly to drag him back to bed. They were both in their pajamas and Trunks' purple hair was tousled and ratty—Goten's looked just the same as usual, although his eyes seemed more awake. Trunks looked like he would rather be upstairs asleep than wrestling with his best friend in the middle of the night.

Goku smiled, "What are you two doing up? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Immediately the struggling stopped and the dynamic duo looked guiltily up at him. "I sensed your ki while we were in bed, and I wanted to know what you were doing here? Is it time to go home yet?" his son pleaded. Goten looked up at him with eyes that Goku could see now were desperate for sleep yet even more desperate for his father's reassurance. They reminded him of something… a night long ago—no, several nights… and Goku smiled in recognition.

"Not quite yet son, I just came to talk with Trunks' mom and dad."

"Okay, well… can I have a goodnight hug and kiss, anyway? It's not the same when Aunt Bulma does it…" Goten asked.

"Hey! What's wrong with the way my mom does it?" Trunks protested, suddenly awake at the affront to his mother's kissing skills.

"Nothing! She's just not _my _mom…" Goten quickly replied.

"Uh-huh, at least my mom doesn't sing a silly song to me, like I was a baby…" Trunks muttered.

Goku just laughed. "Sure thing, kiddo, although… do you think you could show me the way out of here first?"

Goten and Trunks lit up, excited to know something a great big grown-up didn't. "Sure!" They replied and immediately began running skipping down the hallway with shouts of "over here!" while Goku chased after them.

They finally reached the front door (Goku managed to be off by about six floors) Goku bent down to ruffle his son's hair and kiss him on the forehead. "Now get to bed," he whispered.

"I mean it!" he hollered to their retreating backs and then he shut the door.

Lalalalalalal

Goku closed his eyes as the wind rushed through his hair on his flight back home. He knew why no one else would tell him what he wanted to hear now. Because no one else had ever been married to ChiChi. They'd never seen her eyes at night—Goten's eyes—and they didn't remember the things he did.

There were the passionate nights, after his return from Namek, and both before and after he left to fight Cell; there were playful evenings, while he splashed with Gohan in the bath as ChiChi stoked the fire; there were afternoons searching for firewood and eagerly anticipating lunch before he even knew he was a Saiyan; and there were mornings, waking up to find Gohan or Goten had snuck in during the middle of the night and was now lying between them. He remembered holding her as she cried after his return from Namek, being held by her when he realized he had been the one to kill his grandfather, putting his hand on her growing belly to feel the baby kick, and a chaste kiss snuck in whenever Gohan wasn't watching.

He landed in the grass just outside of their house, and he inhaled the sweet smell of ChiChi cooking lunch. He looked immediately to the kitchen window and their eyes met. His were full of love and devotion and contentment, and hers were full of—panic?

Goku frowned as he saw his widow hurriedly motioning for him to come inside. He rushed in, furrowing his eyebrows and was shocked to see—


	7. Plans

**Widowed**

**Chapter Seven: Plans**

When ChiChi woke up that morning it was the most cheerful she'd been since the news was delivered to her that she was a widow. As per usual, this cheerfulness was the result of a determined plan, one that she would enact immediately –using force if necessary. Disturbances such as these happened often in the Son household, and ChiChi had long since developed the perfect coping mechanism: wallow, devise a plan, and never look back. After a week of sleeping alone in her marital bed she had finally uncovered a master plan and with a newfound purpose she set about the daily tasks of a devoted housewife.

First, she crisply straightened the sheets on her bed, and set the two homely pillows in place on the headboard before making her way to the shower. Next, humming as she went, she rounded up all the dirty laundry thinking she could start it a day early this week seeing as Goku had left and wouldn't need breakfast. Oh yes, everything was going to be perfectly all right now. The accountant was coming by today so she could settle what needed to be done with Goten's inheritance, and things with Goku would be fixed by that evening. It would be so, because she was Son ChiChi, and she had a plan.

Lilililili

ChiChi sighed as she closed the door on the accountant. Her options were not favorable, but they were manageable. Strangely, just as she turned to make her way into the kitchen and begin fixing lunch—Goku would be home soon—the doorbell rang. Honestly, she thought she had rid herself forever of that Kami-awful accountant for good. Maybe this time she'd throw him through the window. It seemed to work last time.

So when the wife of the strongest man in the world opened her door she was armed not only with the frying pan she had carried in from the kitchen but also with a scowl and narrowed eyes so fierce they would have given Vegeta pause before intruding on the woman. And yet, as soon as she realized her visitor was not the unwanted accountant (nor the Prince of Saiyans, nice try guys), her mouth fell open and the frying pan went limp in her left hand.

"Uhhh…" The Ox Princess had never been so inarticulate.

"Hello, ChiChi. Is Goku home?"

"No?" the young wife took a moment to compose herself, "but he'll be back soon. I-I thought he went to visit your house. That's what he said last night."

"Ah yes," the man replied, "he did, but I never got the chance to talk to him." By this time Master Roshi had taken full advantage of ChiChi's confusion and lapse in killer-instincts to invite himself into the kitchen and sit down at the table. Knowing if he could just restrain himself long enough for Goku to arrive that the housewife would never be so impolite as to throw a friend of her husband's out of the house (literally, in some cases), the hermit continued to make quiet conversation while ChiChi prepared lunch.

All of a sudden, ChiChi gasped and began making frantic motions out the window. This confused the martial arts master until seconds later Goku rushed in the door.

"Ah, Goku!"

"Master Roshi? What are you doing here?" Goku seemed truly perplexed.

"I was just having a pleasant chat with your sexy woman here—" there was a pause while Goku and Roshi waited for the slap to the back of the head that (curiously) never came—"while we waited for you to come home. I was hoping to see my favorite pupil today, you see." The old pervert grinned.

"I'm sorry. I should have said 'hello' while I was at Kame House. I was a little distracted," Goku laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

"That's alright, don't worry about it." The old man waved his hand aside and stood up.

"Uh, is that it, Master Roshi?" Goku asked, unsure why the Master, who was currently searching for his walking stick, seemed prepared to leave.

"I think he wants to speak with you, honey," ChiChi chirped, barely concealing the way her voice shook.

"I-I'm fine." ChiChi resumed her stirring. "Go with your Master for a walk. Lunch will be ready when you get back."

Her formerly deceased husband gave a last long look at his widow before following her advice and leading Master Roshi out the door and along one of the worn forest paths. As soon as he was out of sight ChiChi sat on the kitchen floor and stifled a cry.

It was inevitable, she thought. He was here to convince Goku to leave her, once and for all. The turtle hermit was the closest thing Goku had to a father figure but she had always treated him with such disdain for his perverted ways and this was going to be his revenge. Revenge from all of Goku's friends who had only ever seen the sour and bitter ChiChi. Was it her fault, she wondered? She saw the Z Warriors even less frequently than Goku did, and she was always so… _stressed_ when she did see them that… she knew they didn't have the greatest impression of her. All she could do, she reassured herself as she promptly got up from the floor, was hope whatever he said had little influence on her Goku. Then, maybe her plan would still work and they could live happily ever after once again.

Less than half a mile away, hobbling along a wide forest path, the very turtle hermit of ChiChi's thoughts began advising his young protégé.

"Honestly Goku, I'm here to talk to you about ChiChi. I know you asked Krillin this morning, but I really wanted to put my two cents in, if you don't mind."

"Aw, man! You're going to tell me not get married, too, aren't you?" Goku cringed. His revelation just minutes before still thrummed powerfully in his heart, but his mind might crumble under all the pressure from such reliable friends.

"What? Of course not, you dope!" The old man squawked, and just for good measure he wacked the Saiyan on the head. "Don't you ever leave that sweet, beautiful woman or I'll have to beat the stupidity out of you!" They both knew Roshi couldn't so much as bruise the Saiyan if he was blindfolded, hung-over, sleep-deprived and confined to a wheel chair, but the sentiment was understood.

Roshi continued, "look, all those fellas are too young to get it. Yamcha called, so I know you talked to him as well as Krillin and that's what made me come over here. "Those moronic friends of yours think ChiChi is too tough to live with, but you're not exactly a piece of cake either. It takes a strong woman to put up with you, and I don't blame her for going a little crazy every now and then.

"I'm guessing Vegeta said something, too?"

Goku nodded, then added, "and Bulma."

"Kame," grumbled the old master, "what idiots they all are. They wouldn't know a good marriage if it hit 'em on the head. They think just because they're so happy where they are that you can't be, too. But I've seen you two. I saw the way she doted on you while you had that heart virus. She was annoying as a mother hen and vicious as a dragon in PMS and that's probably all those good-for-nothings remember."

He looked up under his eyebrows at Goku, "But that's because she loves you. I know that, and I think you do too."

Goku nodded again and nervously whispered, "Bulma says it's not enough."

He was expecting another outburst at this but instead the hermit just mimicked the nod in apparent approval. "That's true. You have to love her too. Now, that's something you'll just have to ask yourself, so I'm not going to, but I've got one last thing to say.

"I've never intruded on your personal life, or Krillin's or Yamcha or Bulma when they were together. But I've always watched, and sometimes I've seen things I wasn't supposed to." There was a moment where Roshi seemed distracted by something—Goku sincerely hoped it wasn't thoughts of Krillin and 18. "I want to see all of you happy. I didn't think you were _really _happy at your wedding, but I saw how you looked at ChiChi when you first woke up after your sickness, and _Goku_—" he shook his head for emphasis—"that's the purest love I've seen in a long time. And I _mean_ a long time."

In the minutes after that Roshi declined Goku's invitation to lunch in favor of returning to Kame House sooner and Goku headed back home with a little bit more of a skip in his step than he'd had when he first left that morning.


End file.
